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joelbyeman:

"you choose your favourite character because they remind you of yourself"

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seriousjones:

when someone at my 4th of july barbeque tries to stop me from fitting another firecracker into my ass

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zackisontumblr:

i want a bf with a select vocabulary which includes phrases like:

  • yes babe
  • you’re cute
  • of course i will bring you snacks
  • my dick is 3 feet long
  • you’re always right babe i’m sorry
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Don’t you just hate nights like that, when you think over every mistake you’ve made, every hurt you’ve received, every bit of meanness you’ve dealt out? There’s no profit in it, no point to it, and you need sleep. Charlaine Harris, Dead and Gone (via avvfvl)
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Nothing in the world can bother you as much as your own mind, I tell you. In fact, others seem to be bothering you, but it is not others, it is your own mind. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar (via diorky)
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sexpansion:

Palo Alto (2014) dir. Gia Coppola
"I’m not depressed, why do you always think I’m depressed? I’m just tired."
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rubysommer:

What the hell LMFAO

This is an absolute bullshit attempt for notes niggas wish they could get a phone in prison
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I’m done venting i hope none of you know me in real life bye

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im gonna vent

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lamedere:

babies screaming when you’re out shopping

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thempress:

People look down on McDonald’s employees but fail to realize that if all these folks left McDonald’s and pursued “better careers”  your ass wouldn’t be able to get a McDouble with an Oreo McFlurry at 3am. 

You can’t demand a service while simultaneously degrading those who provide it for you. 

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